Crap I’m Forced to Watch


Oh god, another rant about this “monkey”… The Curious George Show (Not mistaking it for the movie) is a show that my sister (The Nugget) has been watching without end for about six weeks now and as most things that you have to watch over and over I’ve started to hate that little shit more and more and do you wanna know why? Cause he’s spoiled and really fricking stupid and not cute or charming at all. He’s curious in all the wrong ways and yes I know “it’s just a kids show it doesn’t matter what you think cause it’s not for you.” This is an argument I see a lot and this is giving lazy writers an excuse to make the characters stupid and unlikable when, really, I think that kids’ shows should be fun for adults too since adults have to put up with watching them. For example, in one episode, he sticks colored pieces of paper in a traffic light thinking “Now everyone can admire their favorite colors!”.  The thing is, it’s not just the main character that is stupid, it’s also the human characters as well so there is nothing forgivable in this show or maybe I’m just sick of seeing toddlers cartoons.


True Hell


You’re on a plane and about take off from the runway but the plane is having technical difficulties, the entire plane is coach seating, the kind you find on a discount airline and the flight attendants keep saying “You’re not allowed to leave your seat at the moment.” and the only movies you can watch are Adam Sandler movies, it wouldn’t matter anyway because there is a toddler having tantrum somewhere, you can’t exactly pinpoint where, but you think its coming from all directions. Its hot outside and the person next to you (who you’re pretty sure should have paid for two seats.) appears to have forgone deodorant today, thank god the food and drink cart is coming! “What would you like?” she asks, “What would you like to eat?” you reply, she holds up a packet gluten-free rice crackers, “What do you have to drink?” You ask, she holds up a bottle of Pepsi light “Do you have anything with alcohol in it?”  “I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t serve alcohol.” you grimace “I’ll have the Pepsi.” . She pours it and you see that it is caffeine free, you take a sip and you realise not only is it caffeine free but it’s also flat and warm. After drinking your caffeine free, flat, soda, you feel the burning need to pee, you finally get the flight attendant’s attention “I’m so sorry ma’am but all our bathrooms are out-of-order.”  “Can’t I just leave the plane? We haven’t even taken off yet.” you plead “I can’t let you do that ma’am.” just then the pilot speaks “All righty folks we are all up and running, so sit back and relax and enjoy your flight to Hell!”


The Mom’s Bottle Caps


306 Bottle caps. what you see here isn’t even all of them, you see, The Mom collects them and when confronted she says “I’ll use them for something”. The Dad doubts it. Although sorting them does prove to be a calming project and it definitely helps me with my OCD, which is always a good thing. But if any of you have any suggestions, regarding bottle cap projects, please notify me….




Last week I was in the car with The Mom and we’re waiting at an intersection, which is usually where the street vendors are (and mind you we live very close to a ton of street vendors) and this guy, who I’ve seen before and I try to avoid, because he usually comes up and tries to buddy up to us and shakes my hand, comes over to our car. As you may have seen in one of my earlier posts I have really bad OCD that I take medication for. So the second or third time he had come over, I decided to close the window (our car is really old so you have to open and close the windows manually). I see him this time with the window closed and he comes up and opens the window. Yes, you heard that right, he opens the window to shake my hand, and I was shocked. I was under the impression that a closed window worked as a barrier between myself and the rest of the world.  He just slid it open and reached in.  And I went batcrap crazy for the next couple of hours cause The Mom never carries hand sanitizer. We finally had to stop and buy a bottle of hand sanitizer. I mean, seriously, I don’t want to be rude by not shaking his hand, but only 5% of people wash their hands correctly after they use the bathroom. 5%!!! Why is it not socially acceptable for me not to  shake someone’s hand, but it’s socially acceptable for them to scratch their ass and then shake my hand? Why do I have to make nice and walk around with their fecal matter on my hands? And how do I get out of this situation without looking like a total asshole?


Did You Miss Me?


Well…. Sorry for being gone for so long I’ve been really  lazy  busy. But I’m happy to announce that there will be posts consistently now on Sunday, Tuesday and Friday! So, stay tuned.


Meanwhile at PF Chang’s…


I really don’t know what to say about this one, I’m gonna have to do some research… OH GOD DONT LOOK UP HORSE BUTT PLUGS. DONT DO IT! Well, I have officially been scarred for life, THANKS A LOT GOOGLE SEARCH!  I was wondering why they had to place the horses back end near the area where you wait. Do you really want to be looking at a horses rear the entire time? I mean why couldn’t they face the horses so it’s looking somewhere else?  I have had a couple of people tell me that they’ve actually seen horses with a “stopper” in the back.  I guess it’s so they don’t poop on a parade route?  Still weird.  Still never getting over those photos..